A Shameless Parody
by european coffee addict
Summary: HPAlly McBealCrossover. Is Harry Potter really the client of the biscuit? And why he needs a layer?
1. Is the biscuit crazy now?

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A Shameless Parody

"We have a new case. A girl wants to take proceedings against the weather. This is really silly. John it's your case." Richard Fish said to his senior partner.

"I have a new client on my own" John Cage said and smiled warily into the round.

"Oh really. I hope he or she is rich." Richard answered.

"Might be."

"Ok. And would you like to tell us who this new client is?"

"It's Harry Potter." said John and looked to his colleagues.

"Of course the strange little man is the advocate of a strange small boy, who is existing in books." Nelle said and grinned sarcastically.

"Ahhh….shut up Sub-Zero." John hissed and waved.

"What's going on here?" Renee came in and looked at the people who were sitting at he meeting table.

"It's about Harry Potter." said Ally to her room mate.

"Oh the little wizard with the wonderful black hair and the round glasses. I saw him in cinema last night." Renee explained. "And he's so cute." she added with an husky voice.

"Yes I bet you wanna push his head between your enormous boobs, like you do it with all strange little men." Nelle snapped looking in John's direction.

"Yes I saw it to. This Minerva McGonagall needs my face bra. Otherwise they would throw her out of the next film." Elaine giggled.

"Could we please come back to the important things?" John rolled his eyes. Renee folded her arms. Elaine smiled widely and Ally looked puzzled.

Richard laid his head to one side and look at the biscuit. "John, listen to me. This is crazy. Even for you. Harry Potter does not exist. You don't really believe on your own that wizards are existing?" And to the others he said. "Ok, meeting is over. Time to earn money." Then he left.

"John, do you want to talk to me?" Ally looked at her friend in worry.

"There is nothing to talk about, Ally. Harry Potter called me last evening and told me, he needs a layer. And that's what I am. He will come at one p.m. today to discuss the details. May he will bring some friends."

"Shall I prepare some pumpkin juice?" Elaine ask with a faked innocent smile.

"That's not very helpful Elaine." Ally hissed.

"Snappish!" said Elaine and left the room.

"John." Renee tried. "You know there are some people believing in Santa Clause, that's ok. There are even people believing in unicorns." she glanced at Ally. "_But_, not a single person who is on one's right mind is believes in witches and wizards, not to mention Harry Potter and all the Hogwarts stuff. May it was just a joke. Everybody knows you're a bit strange."

Ally noticed, that it was useless to argue. Sooner or late she would find out what's going on.

"Has this boy told you why she needs a lawyer?" she asked.

John put his fingertips together and looked seriously. "He only said it had something to do with "

See chapter 2.


	2. A wizard needs a lawyer

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A Shameless Parody

"Elaine?" John was standing near her desk and was watching at her secretary. "Could you please find out what kind of site is?"

Elaine stood up and stretched herself. "I have already done this." she explained. "It's an internet site, were people can post fictional texts."

"But isn't this a good thing?" John scratched himself at the head. Just in this moment one could hear Ally screaming shrilly. Elaine and John went quickly into her office to see a boy standing on her desk. The boy with the raven black hair and the glasses jumped down from the desk.

"Sorry for that, always trouble with the floo powder. I'm Harry Potter, I have an appointment with John Cage?" he looked around.

"Oh, that me, John Cage." said John and stepped forward. "We just talked about your case."

"Well, I'm in a hurry, because actually I'm not allowed to be here. in fact I miss the defence against the dark arts lesson." Harry stated. John escorted Harry potter to his office. He knew half of the office was trying to listen at his closed door.

"I told you it's about " Harry began. There are some stories about me on this site. About me and my friends, about the whole of Hogwarts."

John nodded. "Yes and were exactly is the problem?"

"The stories are not true and I don't like them. Hermione and Ron don't like them, as well."

"I'm afraid that's not enough for the judge. You have to get more explicit."

"Uhm…well…that's the problem, Mr. Cage." Harry shifted uncertainly on his chair. "There are many explicit stories about me."

"What do you mean…explicit?"

"In this stories I'm in love with so many people, with Hermione, with Ron, with Ginny, with Draco." Harry said with an alarming voice.

"But love is a good thing, Mr. Potter." John said.

"Having sex with Draco Malfoy is not a good thing." Harry said loudly.

"And what's about Ron?" said a voice from the door. Harry turned around and looked puzzled at Richard Fish. "Just kidding. Bygones." he said and went nearer.

"So this is your Harry Potter?" he asked John. "I just had a look at Miss Rowlings books. There is said that Harry Potter has a lot of gold in the underground of London. That's interesting me."

"Please, Richard. Would you leave us alone?" John demanded. Richard shrugged and left the room.

"So the people were writing stories in which you have sex with different other witches and wizards from Hogwarts?" John assured. "And you want to stop it?"

"I want the stories to remove. They're all not true!"

"And what about the books of J. K. Rowling?"

"All what's written in her books is true. And I wouldn't mind some what the muggles call 'fanfic', if it wouldn't be that…err…graphic."

" There is no financial damage. So we have to plead for mental cruelty." John thought loudly. "I will need a second lawyer."

"Mr. Cage?" Harry interrupted him. "I can't pay so much money. But may I can do some spells for you?"

"It's ok, Harry Potter. I guess from now on, you have a lawyer.

TO BE CONTINUED.

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